Tiger for Hollywood?

Team Tiger, take a bow.

This was a master-class in false and pre-prepared apologies.

An intimate room full of close friends, a composed but solemn Tiger Woods and a script, sorry and apology, that covered everything from the affair, to golf, to sponsors, to friends – this 12minute show had it all. Infact, such was its depth that I was left wondering if it wasn’t the 2009 entry to a future autobiography entitled ‘Tiger – Woodn’t you like to know where it went wrong?’

Yet despite putting all the ingredients together, this showing lacked any real substance. In broadcasting this showing to the masses, I really do think team Tiger underestimated the fact that the public may have more than a combined 4 brain cells between them, such was the blasé nature of what was on show.

Upon the apologies completion, I couldn’t help but think that it was reminiscent of a poorly written murder mystery. You know, the kind where you watch for 10 weeks despite knowing who the killer was after the first 30 seconds. Furthermore, in Tigers continuous apologies I felt that he had even begun to adopt traits from the George Bush US presidency reign. It wouldn’t surprise me if the next time we see him in public, the first words uttered are ‘To all my fellow Americans...’

All in all the apology was an encapsulation of exactly what Tigers sponsors wanted the world to hear. I personally feel that had Tiger written it himself it may have lacked the articulacy on show, but would have adopted a far more authentic feel. That said, who am I to say who wrote it. After all, Tiger fooled the world for years on end with his family orientated, clean cut public image. So in theory, after a few months out of the public eye in ‘therapy’ (or possibly the Michigan school of acting) I don’t think anyone can be 100% sure as to whether any of Tigers future actions are his own or not...

Next up for Tiger? Well after conquering the hearts of the world with these apologies, I hear he fancies some contemporary dance to express his sorrow?